Job seekers outnumber job openings 6 to 1. http://j.mp/AG76V #toohotfortwitter
Breaking news: my updates are filtered from search results. Stay tuned for more tweets that Twitter doesn’t want you to see!
Tomorrow, when Hulu finally posts the House premiere, I’ll read last week’s tweets about it and fave the best ones. #toohotfortwitter
Think stars who ignore fans are rude? Search for a star’s Twitter name. Read the bizarre, cruel messages people send them.
Don’t try to see anything. Just look.
Hey guys, I brought you cake because I sometimes mistake food for love. Eat it, or tonight’s weepery will be extended 30 minutes.
Q: Name that flavor. Robitussin + Simple Green.
Bought a SXSW badge. Drafting tweets for the event now and saving them in Birdhouse to let the rich, ironic flavors set in.
I can’t talk now. They’re listening.
Trying not to let books become just another form of retail therapy.
+1 to Dr. Fauci et al., for a 31.2% effective HIV vaccine. “This is the beginning.” http://j.mp/2Edgw8
Mauve-ing on up.
Please save Sunday, October 4 for me. I’d like you to join me for a birthday-related activity. I just don’t know what it is yet.
“We needed those tweets for a client presentation today!” Don’t let tweet loss happen to you. When tweets matter, use TweetBackup.
Haters make you hate. Lovers make you love. Thinkers make you think. Onions make you cry. Wine makes a good gift.
Like beige? Click me!
I look at you all, see the love there that’s sleeping
What’s going down tonight?
Song of the day: “I got a dirty mouth…” http://songza.fm/~vbtreg
You can have this tweet when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.
When you follow @Zaius13, the waitress will bring hot sauce with your scrambled eggs. You won’t have to ask. She just knows.
It’s starting to heat up, from a lost businessman perspective.
Gum and lotto tickets are the new cigarettes.
Back then we had a code phrase: “I hear disco is making a comeback.”
Ratatat remixes are the gateway rap.
Oh neat!! Thank you.
Anyone read the article in the Post this HEY I’M GONNA LET YOU FINISH BUT THE NEW YORK TIMES HAD THE BEST ARTICLE OF ALL TIME!
Kanye West left bits of jelly in the peanut butter jar.
Lightning pancake. http://j.mp/3oy3Zv
One of you should host a Thunder Pancake Breakfast right now. That seems like the next step.
My house. I’ve got bacon, eggs, vodka. Bring what’s in yr fridge. This is how we handle startling group experiences! With parties!
Ryan made a webpage that fades from color to color. We loaded it on 2 iPhones and set them underneath our hookah. Office tripping.
The next time you’re troubleshooting your parents’ computer problems over the phone, use this: http://supportdetails.com/
Switching to guns.
Video: Balsa Man burn. The Man was built by @catcubed & friends. Pyrotechnics by @morleyroarly. http://bit.ly/Xt0OB